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Thus Spake Zarathustra Folk cats rnd Fics PkMn FMA ¬_¬ other LJ Got Val? I defeat you!
Supervillain Val - Are we not men?
Supervillain Val
If I got bit by a radioactive spider and suddenly had superpowers, "Crime Fighter" would be on the bottom of my list of things to do. SuperVILLAIN maybe. Which brings me to the things I will *not* be doing as a supervillain.
1.) I will not live in a city with a Superhero.
2.) I will not be leaving a "calling card", using the same Modus Operandi, or otherwise announcing my existence.
3.) If a hero does try to stop me, I will not set up an elaborate plan for his demise. I will either kill him, or set him free.
4.) Speaking of heros, should I ever have a hero captured and *not* wish to kill him, he will be summarily declothed. You know how they like to hide micropistols in cuffs these days.
6.) Note the lack of rule #5.
7.) I will not be acquiring a "lair", even if there is prime real estate inside an active volcano.
8.) I will also not be acquiring any lavish costumes, bizarre deformities, or even a "style".
9.) No one will know my ultimate secret plan except for me.
10.) No matter how hot he is, I will *not* seduce the hero in an attempt to coerce him to let me go. Or any other reason, for that matter.
11.) I will not fall in love, thus decreasing the chances of having a weak point.
12.) I will not attempt to strike fear in the hearts of millions. I will make them love me instead.
13.) Full benefits for all my minions, including a pension, 401(k), and vision insurance.
14.) I will not pay my bills on time. Which is no big deal, as I rarely pay them on time without being a supervillain.
15.) I will continue to eat snack crackers and drink soda.

There's moe, I'm sure, but I don't remember them all right now. I'll add in the comments of this one if I do.
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