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B Movies - Are we not men?
B Movies

What, exactly, defines a b movie? In the past it was defined as a low-budget film. But there have been some very good low-budget films. Clerks is an example, and there have been even lower budget films that were great movies. So, in my view, budget alone is not a consideration. Also, some movies that had decent budgets count as b-movies. Super Mario Bros. for example. One thing I think that makes a movie neccessarily a b movie is rubber monster costumes. Even if the "monsters" are clowns or something. Rubber costume = b movie. But there have been b-movies without rubber costumes.
B movies are usually shorter than average or blockbuster movies, too. About 90 minutes average I'd say. Some films were made to be bad b-movies, like Attack of the Killer Tomatoes. Some movies *should* be b-movies, based on content, but are not because they are executed so well. Naked Gun is an example. B doesn't mean bad, either. Gozilla (1998 Matthew Broderick remake) wasn't a b movie, and it was painful to watch. Whereas Godzilla 2000 *was* a b-movie, and it was fun as hell to watch.
So far we've come to no real conclusions on what, exactly, defines a b movie. Unintentionally funny movies are neccessarily b movies, but there have been b movies that were not unintentionally funny, and ones that were intentionally funny. Strange Brew = b movie. Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure = not b movie. Most movies based on a tv show should probably be considered b movies. I know the Charlie's Angels movie was b in my view. But most tv series that have a movie as the starting point are good series.
I think the one thing that ties b movies together is an intangible metaphor which I like to call "cheese". If a movie has no cheese, it cannot be considered a b movie. So at this point I would like to define exactly what cheese is. Unfortunately, I really need to post this and do some real life stuff, so you'll have to wait for the next installment for the definition of movie cheese.

I'm all : mmm..... sex......
Jammin' with : Squeeze - Tempted by the fruit of a monkey
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Are you gonna eat that?
Date: April 4th, 2002 - 04:26 pm
Well, i have three things to say:

1) I got you into Clerks! I asked you to watch it! And you watched it! So "woo yay" for me, I rule.

2) Do you know really what b-movies were? In the 40's and 50's, a trip to the cinema involved watching two movies: the short cheap B-movie, then the expensive A-movie. The B-movie usually came free with the A-movie as part of a deal for when cinemas bought yearly packages from movie distributors. Over the years, "b-movie" came to mean any SF/fantasy/horror film that has no artistic value and only means to simply entertain.

3) That Squeeze track you were listening to when you made this entry... I read it as "Tempted by the Fist of a Monkey". And that just made me laugh. then made me think "eww". then made me laugh again.

Can I see your boobies?

Stop asking about milk already.
Date: April 4th, 2002 - 04:29 pm

and no :P
2 droids -- Spew an android