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More about Star Wars - Are we not men?
More about Star Wars
Ahh, the benefits of an online journal. I can say everything I want to say witout boring the pants off of all my friends.

Unless pantlessness is what I'm going for. Which it's not.

So, Star Wars. Episode 2? Well, first a bit of Episode 5, which I watched earlier tonight. Some people like it the best, and I was seeing if I was one of those people. Nope, I'm not. While I love the level of evil that episode attains, it's really not much to watch in between Hoth and when Luke arrives on Cloud City. I know Yoda is cool and all, but to be honest, the whole Degobah sequence bores me. I'm just an action junkie I guess. I'll agree that ESB has the best lines, and definitely the best Darth Vader.

I shall watch Ep 4 tomorrow, and come to a final conclusion on whether that or Ep 2 is my favourite. You have to admit that the opening scene in SW is much better than the AotC opening scene. Not sure if any opening scene has ever amazed me quite the way the SW one did in 1977.

Ep 6, I have concluded, is an inferior movie. Not chock full o' lame like Ep 1, but definitely inferior. Now, when I was 15 or so, I totally dug the Ewoks. Because they are small and cute, which appeals to teenage girls, natch. And even though I'm not swayed by little and cute anymore, I do not find the existence of Ewoks offensive. But aside from the Luke-is-tempted-by-the-dark-side scenes, mostly unimpressive.


First off, for all the people who have been doing this, STOP PRONOUNCING IT YANGO! It's Jango! Jango with a J! Not a German J or a Spanish J! J as in Jellybrain! JANGO. Have you not watched the movie? Lama Su, Taun We, AND Obi-Wan call him Jango, with a J! Not a Y!

Ok, there's one "love" type scene, the picnic scene, which could have been inherently long and boring. But what makes it watchable is THOSE HUGE BUTTS! Did you see those creatures? Did you see the butts on those things? Have you ever seen such an impressive butt? Let me answer for you: No! You have not seen as expansive a butt on a living creature! So, when you get to that scene and you're bored, just look at the butts. The Large Butts of Holy Wrath.

Hrm, David Bowie song, "J-j-j-j-jango!"

So, who is the mysterious Cyphedias? Is it Darth Maul? Was he much much older than he looked in the mask? It was ten years prior that Darth Maul's presence became known. Is it possible this Cyphedias faked his own death prior to assuming the identity of Darth Maul? Or is Cyphedias someone else entirely? Did I miss something in Ep 1 that might explain things?

Now for some dodgy genetics. Anakin and Padme are Luke and Leia's parents. Bail Organa is obviously a friend of Padme's. Anakin and Padme both have huge lips. Organa has narrow lips. Luke and Leia...? Well, Luke could pass for the offspring of Anakin and Padme, but not Leia! She has narrow lips, like Organa! HRMMMMMMM.

Brian pointed out that Beru's only purpose seems to be serving drinks. Cute, though, how they were younger.
Oh, and Gavin pointed out that Owen should know C3PO from his youth. But I've just thought of a possible loophole - suppose Owen didn't live there? After all, I don't live with my parents. It might be feasible that Owen was just visiting, and didn't take the time to get to know the droids. Perhaps he came back just to help look for Shmi. Or perhaps I've forgotten a line or two and I'm totally off base, and we just have to accept it as an inconsistency.

FUCK the score is awesome. I'm totally blown away by another nuance I hadn't noticed before each time I watch the movie. I'm still enthralled by the Anakin/Padme scene, for the music alone.

Man, I would have loved to have seen the Yoda/Kaminoans meeting. Yoda's not quite as socially adept as Obi-wan is. He has a tendency to say whatever he's thinking. Lama Su and Taun We would feel obligated to be polite, because the species is making quite a deal of money from the Jedi. A good salesman never alienates his clients. I also think they'd understand that some cultures are not as socially adept as others. They're very smart. I would have loved to have seen that meeting, tho.

And I'm back to Kamino. Which I love. I truly, deeply, love Kamino.
When Obi-wan is saying his goodbyes to Taun We, he walks out, and as he does, she puts a hand to her neck. It is my observation that the Kaminoans do everything deliberately, as well they should, considering the time they've had to perfect the species. So, what does this gesture mean? It can't be a social thing, Obi-wan is walking away. Perhaps I'm reading too much into it, and it was merely a neck-soothing rub, in resopnse to the bowing and stuff to Obi-wan.

Did you know, that the reason the Kaminoans still have the appearance of gender even though they are asexual beings which reproduce by cloning is relations with other species. They have no need for male/female distinction, but other beings tend to be unnerved by asexuality. Heck, some languages still use gendered nouns for inanimate objects.

Whenever Anakin says "She would do her duty.", I always go "Doody!" and laugh.

I wish I had one of those clones.

OK, here's what I want in Episode 3. First off, kill everyone from Naboo. Naboo is useless. Maybe a Death Star pre-type which just flame broils the planet, rather than blowing it up. Seriously. Only lameness has come from Naboo thus far. Also, for obvious reasons, the Geonosians will have to be eliminated. Not that this is something I want, just a neccessity. Of course Boba Fett will have to kill Mace Windu, vengeance. The Obi-wan vs. Anakin faceoff, hopefully that will be the climax of the film. I hope they do not show anything but Anakin's escape, with the full implication that he will belong to the dark side. I don't want to see a lot of him training with Darth Sidious. Just his final descent. I hope we see next to nothing of Padme, except for the first argument with Anakin where he goes off on bad terms. Yeah, AotC takes place 10 years after Ep 1, but the next movie should be about 2 years max after this one. What is unsaid is just as important in a film series as what is seen. I *do* want to see the culmination of the Palpatine/Sidious identity. Is Palpatine a clone of Sidious? Or are they one and the same? It needs to at least be alluded to as to how R2D2 and C3PO's memories become erased. We do *not* need any info on Han Solo. If the next movie takes place around the time of Luke and Leia's birth, Han shouldn't be old enough to even be in the movie. Lando as well. Boba Fett will still be quite young, but not so young that he can't exact vengeance for his father's death.

I think I should sleep now. Kamino awaits.
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Comments
From:bbcorno
Whiner.
Date: May 30th, 2002 - 06:28 am
 
From:raditzsex
Teacher said not to.
Date: May 30th, 2002 - 07:37 am
 Re:
Perhaps that's how Owen knew that 3PO was designed for "eti-quette and proto-col."
From:squeakyg
Phwoar!
Date: May 30th, 2002 - 09:07 am
 
Oh, and Gavin pointed out that Owen should know C3PO from his youth. But I've just thought of a possible loophole - suppose Owen didn't live there? After all, I don't live with my parents.

But even if Owen has recently moved away from home to start an independent life with his hot new girlfriend, he surely must have spent his childhood living with his mother and father. And his mother and father owned THREEPIO. Therefore, Owen spent his childhood in a home where Threepio was their main droid. Threepio was owned by Shmi all this time (because in AOTC he says he has never left Tattooiine before), so Owen must therefore have grown up with Threepio.

So thats like spending your entire childhood with a maid, then totally forgetting her when you meet her later in life.

Star Wars fans have a cnvenient explanation: Threepio has different coverings. He spent his years at the Lars homestead with dirty silver coverings, then when he arrived back years later he had shiny gold coverings. And since protocol droids are mainly distinguishable by their coverings, Owen had no way of knowing it was Threepio.

But I still disagree. Threepio ain't just any protocol droid... he's a fussy annoying dandy droid. It would only take 5 seconds of converstion with Threepio to remember him from your childhood.


(Then we come to a much more interesting problem. Shmi met her new husband 7 or 8 years ago and they had a son... so how the hell can Owen be an adult already? Owen should only be about 8 years old. Riddle me that!)

From:raditzsex
I'm a babe magnet.
Date: May 30th, 2002 - 09:22 am
 Re:
I thought Owen was CLeargh(sp?)'s son from a previous marriage. Did they ever say how long ago Shmi was sold to him? Owen *does* tell Anakin that they are stepbrothers, and not half-brothers...
From:bbcorno
Can you feel the love?
Date: May 30th, 2002 - 09:58 am
 
From:squeakyg
I'm a babe magnet.
Date: May 30th, 2002 - 10:38 am
 
I know a lot of Star Wars fans say this. The idea that people consider droids to be mo more than household appliances. I believe this is true for the smaller non-humanoid droids, or humanoid droids with no personality.

But Threepio has PERSONALITY. And personality goes a long way. Think about this: Luke kept Threepio as a friend for YEARS despite Threepio being useless in most situations. It can only have been Threepio's personality that created a friendship bond.

So whilst I may liken non-humanoid droids to household appliances, I would liken protocol droids to butlers/maids. And I would indeed remember a butler/maid years later.
From:bbcorno
I saved you a seat.
Date: May 30th, 2002 - 10:49 am
 
From:macklinr
Stop asking about milk already.
Date: May 30th, 2002 - 10:49 am
 
You might not remember the bulter/maid if you block it out due to a traumatic experience. Like, say, a darksider reprogramming 3PO to commit sodomy on your girlfriend and then bludgeon you to unconsciousness with your father's severed arm.

Remember, we know the past past and future past, but do we know the present past yet? No.
From:raditzsex
Stop asking about milk already.
Date: May 30th, 2002 - 10:54 am
 Re:
Note how unwilling we are to accept an inconsistency as such :)
From:macklinr
Stop asking about milk already.
Date: May 30th, 2002 - 10:57 am
 
I'm willing to accept an inconsistency that involves sodomy. Or severed limbs as weapons.
From:squeakyg
Can you feel the love?
Date: May 30th, 2002 - 02:54 pm
 
You might not remember the bulter/maid if you block it out due to a traumatic experience. Like, say, a darksider reprogramming 3PO to commit sodomy on your girlfriend

In which case, Aunt Beru would DEFINITELY remember Threepio!
From:raditzsex
I'm a babe magnet.
Date: May 30th, 2002 - 04:28 pm
 
LOL!

But.. technically, she may have that trauma related forgetting, and just be really scared of him without remembering why.

We're all insane Star Wars addicts.
From:raditzsex
Phwoar!
Date: May 30th, 2002 - 10:53 am
 Re:
Perhaps when Cliegg (I looked it up) and Shmi first hooked up, Owen was scared of the wacky robot, and so Cliegg asked Shmi to keep it away from the children. Then after Owen moved out, 3PO could freely walk the campus.

Or, alternatively, perhaps C3PO was only a translator between other existing farm droids, and had almost no interaction with the rest of the household.

ALthough, I've just read Ryan's response, and that is an impressive argument.
From:squeakyg
Stop asking about milk already.
Date: May 30th, 2002 - 10:31 am
 
Ahhhhh that makes more sense. Forgive me, I've only seen the film once, and perhaps my mum was offering me popcorn during that scene.
14 droids -- Spew an android