I can't sleep. So, here you go.
One time my dog was going to have puppies, and she kept trying to have puppies on the couch. So I kept moving her to the little bed we made for her, but as soon as I would turn my back, she would jump back up on the couch. So, I put her in the dog bed, and I went to pee, and when I got back, there she was, with half a puppy pushed out, on the couch! So (this was when I was married) I yelled for my husband to come help me get the dog off the bed. I pick up the 70 pound dog, and he's got the little puppy, and they're still attached with, you know, puppy stuff, and we're maneuvering around the living room to put the dog in the dog bed.
Eventually, the dog had 5 cute little puppies. Mmmm... puppies!
Holly was like, 1 year old or something. She could walk, but she wasn't very fluent in English. She was sitting with her dad on one couch, and I was sitting on another couch. The dog was sitting on the floor next to me, and I was petting her. Holly decided that she was the princess, not the dog, and she walked over to the dog, raised her finger, and started giving the dog the what-for, in baby talk! And wagging her finger like a schoolteacher! Oh it was so cute!
The dog was pregnant. And then, there was this huge storm. With flash floods and everything. And the dog had gone missing! There were no leash laws, and she is a very worldly dog (we adopted her as a stray), but she would not come when we called. We didn't see her around. We set food outside, she wouldn't come. For 3 days we called for the dog, and finally, on the 3rd day, she showed up. But, she wasn't pregnant anymore! So I said to her "You had puppies! Where are they?" and she wagged her tail at me. "Show me where you hid the puppies!" I said, and she wagged, and then she walked over to the side of the house. She pointed, so I put my ear to it. And I heard the puppies! But how did they get in there? So I said, "Wow, puppies! How did you get in there?" and the dog walked around to the back of the house, and there was a hole under the house that she had used to get up in there!
So, we let her nurse the puppies in there for a few weeks, then we crawled under the house, grabbed the puppies, and put 'em in a box to bring into the house. They were so cute! She had 6 puppies.
Holly was like, 4 or so. We had gone to Galveston Beach, so we had our swimsuits on underneath our clothes, so we wouldn't have to change at the beach. So, we swam, and did stuff, and then we went to get out of our wet clothes and into our regular clothes, and I realize that I've forgotten Holly's underpants. I put her dress on her anyway, and tell her to fake it, and we'll grab fresh undies when we get back to the hotel (in Houston). So, we went to this really nice restaurant that I always go to when I'm in Galveston, and the waiter asks us how we're doing. "Not so good," Holly says, "My mom forgot to pack me clean panties, so now I'm naked."
That's all the stories for today!