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Thus Spake Zarathustra Folk cats rnd Fics PkMn FMA ¬_¬ other LJ Got Val? I defeat you!
I am going to start a new jutsu - Are we not men?
I am going to start a new jutsu
Val jutsu. But I'll spell it Val-jitsu, just to piss people off. It is a technique that will allow your face to become a deadly weapon.
Do you wish you could run through the forest with your eyes closed? Do you ever fear you will be kidnapped and your arms and legs bound? Val-jitsu is the discipline for you.

Frequently Asked Questions
Q: I have false teeth. Can I still compete?
A: False teeth made of something other than enamel or wood will be disqualified. Those with braces must wait until the braces are removed to compete.

Q: Aren't high cheekbones an unfair advantage?
A: No. Proper use of Val-jitsu will allow you to defeat any opponent, no matter how pointy his/her face may be.

Q: This sounds dangerous. I don't want my child participating.
A: Good. Your child is a crybaby anyway and keeps trying to kiss the teacher.

Q: Someone suggested that Viagra can help my cartilaginous nose increase stamina. Is this true?
A: I think you are in the wrong dojo, my friend.
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Date: March 18th, 2004 - 01:47 pm
Is it OK if I put in a glass eye with a laser attachment?
This place is filthy.
Date: March 18th, 2004 - 02:07 pm
For your own purposes, sure. But that defeats the purpose of the Val-jitsu training, and thus is banned from competition. If we had laser eyes, we wouldn't have to train our faces to be lethal weapons.
Teacher said not to.
Date: March 18th, 2004 - 05:27 pm
Have you seen the latest ep of South Park? I think it aired a couple of nights ago in your crazy country, but I downloaded it. I'm not exactly *recommending* the ep to you, because it's only so-so. But it made me think of you. (Um... not that you're so-so or anything).
This place is filthy.
Date: March 18th, 2004 - 05:34 pm
No I haven't seen it. I might download it later, tho, now I'm all curious :)
4 droids -- Spew an android