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Making 'Bold' from 'Smoove' - Are we not men? — LiveJournal
Making 'Bold' from 'Smoove'
You know, like, when you're ill, and you spend most of the day curled up in the fetal position, and dozing off whenever you feel like it, and ignoring everything for a long time until it becomes time to go to the store because you're out of stuff you need? And then you accidentally sleep A LOT during the day, because you're ill and don't feel like being awake? And then you end up not feeling the need for sleep at a normal hour, so you stay up all night and make coffee at 4 am with the new coffeemaker you bought 8 hours ago?

Me either.

The good news is, my hair looks really good. Yes I need a haircut, but hey, at least it looks good!

I will tell you why I like me-brewed coffee better than anyone else's coffee. It is because I suck at making coffee. Do what? That doesn't make any sense! You are right, it doesn't. But hear me out. See, I don't measure the water very well. I try to, and it looks to me like it was right at the 4-cups line -- and that brings up another question. What the hell size of cups are they using? Because my coffee cups, even the regular ones that aren't mega-tumbler-mug-things, can fit 2 of what it says is 1 cup. Maybe I'm supposed to use these cup-and-saucer things. But I thought those were for serving tea to people that I'd just as soon not drink my tea, considering how small the cups are.
I have deviated from my point.
Me. Making coffee. So, like, I look, and it says 4 cups, and I say yey, four cups of water for four cups of coffee. Then I go to measure the coffee into the filter thing. It says two tablespoons per cup, and so I go to get a tablespoon, and ... umm... I don't have any of those! I know I USED to have some, because they came with the little measuring-cup things I have on a ring in that one drawer with all the unidentifiable cooking implements in it. (what IS that wooden springy-thing? and the thing with the bristles? the hell is that?)
So I say to myself, When in doubt, a_plastic_knife. But that is completely inappropriate for the situation, so I use a plastic spoon (who does not have a LJ) instead. I figure, if I pile the coffee on the spoon, that should be like a tablespoon, right? So yeah. 4 cups, two tablespoons per cup = 8 piled-high plastic spoons! But I lose count about halfway through (I blame cats who do not like coffee but can't help sticking their nose into my business). So, I think, how much coffee do we usually have in the coffeemaker at work? OK, I'll just pile it in there til it fills the filter about as much as that one at work. Now flip the 'on' switch and wait.

I know what you're thinking. You're thinking "Val, you've described this morning's coffee adventure only. Cannot possibly apply to all Val-made coffee." But you are wrong, my friend! If this did not happen just about every time I've ever made coffee (adjusting the 4-cup thing for the actual size of the coffeemaker in question) I would not just now be remembering how much I love my own coffee!

Invariably, my coffee comes out almost like a syrup. OK it's really quite liquid in nature, but even when I'm not trying, I always make a hella strong coffee. The kind that lingers on the back of your tongue like ... uhh... aspirin when you chew it. Well that doesn't make it sound very appetizing, does it. I don't suppose you'll be wanting a cup now.
More for me >D

I'm all : good coffee pwnership
Jammin' with : Barão Bermelho - Por Você
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Stop asking about milk already.
Date: August 18th, 2004 - 11:38 am
Helpful note: 3 teaspoons = 1 tablespoon = 0.5 fl. oz. Unfortunately, regular spoons don't have a standard size, so you'll have to experiment. I think the average plastic spoon is actually smaller than a tablespoon. Also, that doesn't mean a large scoop per spoon, as a spoon can hold more solid matter than liquid matter.

One cup (as in the measurement) = 8 fl. oz. Fucking small ass cups.

In the end, I say put all the hot water in the coffee jar, and then put it in your pants, and then demand money from strangers for your magical pants liquid.
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