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Thus Spake Zarathustra Folk cats rnd Fics PkMn FMA ¬_¬ other LJ Got Val? I defeat you!
I went shopping - Are we not men? — LiveJournal
I went shopping
For Christmas gifts? Hell no. For me.
I bought a pie.

There is a chance of me sharing the pie with others, but I don't think I know anyone else who likes pumpkin. You're all a bunch of haters! You... you.... pumpkin-haters!

But I also bought the latest Weekly World News. I bet I could write for them. All I need is Photoshop so I can make groovy pictures like the one I scanned from this week's issue.

They don't even try to hide the fact that Ted Kennedy's hed is pastede on. Also, it says "This wookie wants some nookie!" I could so come up with lame-ass jokes like that for photoshopped pictures of bigfoot in a dress! I could have also made up the made-up story that accompanied this picture. I am jealous. Maybe if I write an article and make up a photo that looks almost like it might could have been real if you hid the crayon marks and shrunk Ted Kennedy's head a little bit, they'll accept me as a writer. Because that's good stuff there. It's my favorite newspaper.

In other news, Nostradamus predicted what would be on TV, not what would happen in real life. A giant pigeon is terrorizing New York. A new life form was discovered in some guy's icebox because he hadn't thrown anything out in like 9 years. According to DNA samples of Osama Bin Laden's ear wax, he's actually a woman with large breasts. And, a new study says that a stitch in time saves, in fact, only 8. That study was done by the Hurry Up Institute. That must be who wrote/drew the book cover on the right side of my LJ layout.

Also? Moon rays turned astronauts into wolfmen.

Hey, who's a Scorpio? Here's your horoscope, from the WWN. (I am not making this up, but I wish I was)
Scorpio (Oct 23- Nov 21) Ignore defeatists and pessimists for the next few days. They don't know that you have 'superpowers'.
Focus on a nagging family problem and evict him if necessary.
This is an excellent week to pursue a change in your clothes or breakfast cereal.
A friend may contact you soon with a mixed message. Ignore it.

In ubercool news, they know us at the jazz club. You can't get much more cool than being known at the jazz club. Yeah, baby, swing it.

I'm all : moody aww man.
Jammin' with : Ren & Stimpy tv show ( on dvd)
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I'm a babe magnet.
Date: November 14th, 2004 - 10:00 pm
I wish we had newspapers like that here. We have a lot of tabloids, but alas, they still only report *real* news. They just write it in a tacky dumb way. There's only one paper that has the same stuff as your American phenomenon - the Daily Sport - but that's mostly a sex paper, with topless models on most pages. The crazy news stories are just to fill the spaces where there aren't any breasts.
1 droid -- Spew an android